Oh yeah, I have a blog...

Its been a while and since I am bored with packing my stuff I thought I'd might as well blog a bit.  A lot has happened since I last blogged.  The last post was something that only a particular audience would immediately get and I might as well admit (for posterity's sake) that it was when the guy that I liked finally admitted to dating me.  As of now we are in a relationship and its been such a relief for me, there is a lot to that that I would like to vent about eventually but I'll hold off on it until I get through the rest of the catching up summary.

Other than boy stuff going somewhere, I got my research poster done and presented at a research for under grads fair.  I was panicking about it for weeks, but I was finally able to present some of my research on marine mammal strandings and put it in poster form. I didn't win any awards, but it was exciting to be there and present my work.  It was an ego boost when a girl next to mine complemented me on my work.  It felt so good to have someone think that my work was 'cool' and worthwhile.  For that whole experience (plus a 2 page summary of my project) I got to get a blue chord to wear at my graduation.  That blue chord took so much work, but I'm glad I did it.  I really wanted to wear an honor chord for getting a gpa, but it just wasn't high enough (I hope I can give confidence to all the people aspiring veterinary school that it is still possible to get in, even if your grades are not as high as you'd like).  I didn't feel too bad about it though, after all, I did get into veterinary school, and I had another cool chord to wear instead.

As you can guess from the date of this post, I have in fact graduated and now hold a bachelors of science in Zoology.  I'm not sure the gravity of this has completely hit me yet, but I'm still excited about it.  Now I hold the same level of degree as both of my parents (which I have to admit is a weird feeling).  Watch out grandpa, I'm going to get your degree next (well, same degree for animal medicine, heheh).

My family is currently visiting me right now, and as much as I love them, I'm glad they are doing their own thing right now.  Its been giving me some time to myself, and I have to admit I'm enjoying the quiet of my apartment.  So far I've been able to watch two anime films I've been wanting to watch and get some more packing done without the cacophony of noise that my family brings.  Hopefully I'll be able to get a lot done before I have to leave with them to go home.  I've decided to spend the summer with my family and hopefully relax a bit before the long haul of veterinary school.

Ah, veterinary school, I'm so nervous about starting in the fall.....

Patience

And thats the truth of it.  If you want something badly, never give up, keep on trying, and someday you just might get what you were waiting for.

Powers of 10

I've always wanted to get better at drawing and so this term I decided to take a drawing class this term.  Its been kind of tedious but I did enjoy our final project.  The only directions we were given for this project was that it had to be at least 6 drawings of whatever you want, they just have to be tied together in some way.  I thought about this for a long time and decided to do powers of 10 based off of the 1977 video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fKBhvDjuy0

Here are my pictures from small to large:

(10^-13 ish)This was originally supposed to be a carbon atom, but I'm not sure if I got the number of protons and neutrons right....oh well

(10^-7) DNA wrapped around some histones, this is my attempt at being inside the nucleolus with all the genetic material floating around and the nuclear pores out in the distance.

(10^-4.5) the animal cell, this used to be one of my favorite geeky science things to draw.  I could name all the organelles I put in there but that would probably be a big digression....moving on

(10^0) this took me forever to do, especially his face.  Its almost tragic that I erased the part I worked the hardest on for privacy's sake, but that is the internet for you.

(10^5) All I can say is: thank you google earth =)

(10^7) Earth, it didn't turn out too badly

(10^13) I'm not sure I buy that this is 10^13, I think I misunderstood the video, but I dunno, it still works.

For the written component of this project I included the meaning of the works as a whole because I thought it added to it.  So here it is for your viewing pleasure.

The meaning of the work:

The ultimate meaning of my final project is the importance of perspective.  Once upon a time ago, after an event with held emotional weight for me, a friend told me…In the grand scheme of things, what does it really matter anyway?  This was an attempt to assuage my feelings using something that I value above many things, scientific fact and logic.  He is right in a way, if you take a difficult or painful situation and put it in perspective of the universe, it doesn’t really matter.  All we are, all the decisions we make, are just the result of billions upon trillions of atoms interacting with other atoms that over the unforgiving tread of time might well end up somewhere else in the universe.  This is all true, scientific fact, as elucidated by Isaac Newton in his law about the conservation of matter.  But, despite it being true, it is not the only true perspective.  If the only perspective considered is one of general scientific fact it can shield the ugly and evil while de-valuing all that is beautiful and good about the human condition.  It is why it is absolutely vital that in life, perspective of the present is considered.  Proper perspective of particular situation will stir the compassion and empathy that would otherwise be lost in the lens of science.  It is compassion and empathy that makes us unique as a species on this earth and is something that should be preserved. 

In the drawing of the people in regular scale, I used myself and a dear friend of mine.  Our situation is complex, to say the least.  There has been tension as well as affection and it has been very difficult to toe the line.  I drew us this way partially as expression of my feelings, but also as an expression of the central point of this work.  In the end, none of what we do with each other matters, but that doesn’t mean we should forget the present, and what it means to us.

Bucketlist and some

So I don't have a huge long list of things I want to do for you right now because I haven't seen the paper where I wrote that stuff down, BUT, I do have one that I really want to add.

Addition 1 to Bucketlist: Dance Cuban Salsa, Cuban style.

Cuban Style as I was informed is when you dance Cuban salsa, in a bikini, on a beach.  Frankly what I'm envisioning here is a beach on Hawaii, Carribean, or Mexico (not the sketch parts) where its warm, its surrounded by tropical flora, and there is probably going to be a party worth a dos equis commercial as soon as the sun goes down.

All I need to do is get people to come with me who know how to dance that dance.  It shouldn't be too hard, I mean, who doesn't want to go dancing on a tropical beach? A crazy person, obviously.



More bucketlist additions!
-See the aurora borealis
-Find an intact sand dollar by myself
-dance/frolic in a field of fireflies on a summer's evening

Favorite Memories

Now just musing to myself one day, I started to think about what my favorite memories were and who was there with me when they happened.  These are the memories that relax me, make me feel warm inside, or the places I go back to or build upon in dreams.  Now I have a lot of really positive memories, but here are some of my personal favorite highlights (starting with the most recent)

• Running down a beach in La Jolla with my best friend.

This was one of those instances where the day was perfect, there were no pressing urgencies polluting the day, and I was with a person I truly care about.  It was kind of like it was straight out of a novel how beautiful  the situation was.  As I ran along the beach, I felt everything: the soft sand beneath my feet, the ocean air breezing across my chest, the chill of the water as I splashed around the tides.  I got to play with my friend (trying in vain to splash him), and learn more about him as we ran along the beach where he used to live.  This memory is one of the purest and best that I have and I will always go back to it when I'm not feeling well.

• Riding my motorcycle down the highway for the first time

Like I said in a previous post, there is NOTHING like riding a motorcycle.  And my first time really riding down a highway was exhilarating.  It was loud, I was scared, but I loved every second of knowing that I was in charge.

• Camping in my car in the pouring rain

Although this memory is somewhat tainted by who it was shared with, it was still an interesting and unique experience that I will never forget.  We were on a coastal trip and I was persuaded to camp in my car at some forgotten trail head up in the mountains.  It poured rain the WHOLE night and since I was worried about the battery of my car, we used a small flashlight as our only source of light.  At first I was nervous about this, but after eating and then making a bed out of the copious amounts of pillows and blankets I started feeling a little better.  What really made this experience was when my (ex) boyfriend and I took turns reading out of my favorite book of fairy tales.  Listening to his voice reading while curled up nice and warm in my blankets with the rain beating down outside was...special.  I felt safe, looking at him as he read to me by the faint light of the flashlight.  Its a shame because the relationship did not last too long after this trip, but no matter how negative I feel about him, this will always be a special memory for me.

• A near perfect day at the beach 

This beach looks gorgeous doesn't it?  Well it is, but unfortunately its not for 3/4s of the year.  I went out with my ex- boyfriend (different one- yes I've had a few relationships) during the early summer and caught this beach on a warm but windy day.  So not entirely perfect, but damn close.  We were walking down the beach for a while and when we got a little chilled from the wind we found this little place which protected us from the strong gusts of the wind.  Here is where I started to appreciate the beauty of the situation.  As I sat down, I felt the warmth of the sand heating me up, the gust of the wind assuaged to a breeze, the grasses bending with each blow and the beautiful scene of the ocean turning into sky.  This got me contemplative and I thought about how fleeting such wonderful moments like these are.  I thought to myself...Things are not always going to be like this are they? A quote which I adapted from the Counte of Monte Cristo.  Despite the melancholic knowledge of the fleeting nature of this moment, it still had wonderful feelings of freedom and warmth.

• Watching the sunset with someone special

If ever there was a time where I wished I kissed someone, it was most definitely here.  The details surrounding the situation are too messy to taint this blog post so I'm not going to focus on them.  But this was an instance where you are sharing a beautiful moment with a person you really care about.  This was one of my favorite spots to climb when I was kid and so I was enjoying playing on the rocks with this person and then the sunset happened and I found myself in a loving embrace.  The only way that moment could have gotten better was, as I've mentioned, a kiss.  But even without it, it still is up there in my favorite memories.

• Falling asleep in front of the botanical gardens

High school was stressful for everybody, and it most certainly was for me as well.  But there was a period where it got so bad that I asked my mom if we could leave somewhere and just take it easy.  We ended up going to this park in one of my favorite cities.  I don't remember a whole lot of what happened that day but I do remember getting tired during the day and so my mom and I just decided to take a nap on the lawn in front of these gardens.  Laying there on that lawn and basking in the warm sun was so relaxing and peaceful.  Smelling the flowers of the garden while being in enveloped in the warm sun while laying on soft grass was such a relief.  I felt like I had successfully escaped from my woes and also like I had found a new safe place to go back too whenever I felt overwhelmed.  Indeed this park is still one of my hiding places, although I don't get to go there as often as I would like anymore.

• Reading romance novels with my mom in a beautiful meadow

So this picture is special because there are two different memories that it stands for.  My family and I liked to go backpacking when I was in high school and this was one of our favorite places to go.  It is what I imagine heaven would be like, if there is such a place waiting for us.  Anyway, the first memory involves my mom, my brother and I laying out next to a small stream that my dad was fishing in, reading and enjoying life.  The sun was warm that day, the breeze was gentle and the sound of the brook and wind in the trees were all the sounds to be heard.  It was just too perfect.  I was relaxing with the most important people in the world to me, and everything was, well, perfect.  I really don't think that moment could have been any better.

The second memory attached to this photo is not actually at this location.  It was a couple miles down the trail at another meadow with a hot spring at its feet.  This was a unique memory that I treasure because it follows an uncomfortable situation.  A morning we were camped across from this particular meadow I was supposed to go on a hike with my dad.  I ended up not going because I felt so sick that I threw up that morning.  My mom was such an angel to me that morning, she made me some miso soup (which to this day helps me feel better) and told me that we could just relax in the meadow that day.  And that is exactly what we did.  We took a tent cover and relaxed in the tall grass of the meadow.  This was the instance were it was just her and I and she started reading her romance novel to me. I felt such a sense of relief and contentment that it just stuck in my memory.  

Those are my most treasured memories that I can think of.  I think that they are a bit of a reflection of who I am and what is important to me.

Note to Self

There is a serious lack of available literature on diseases of Orcinus orca.  Most of it is on Tursiops which is great because they make a great model species, but come on, lets get a little more specific.  

In the future, I want to do research on the diseases in wild Killer Whale populations, I think we might find some interesting trends (any information would be interesting at this point).  Also, I want to do research on husbandry methods and disease pathology of captive killer whales, because the last major study on that was done back in the 70s where whales were still being taken from the wild and acquired all sorts of ailments due to poor husbandry methods coupled with a severe lack of knowledge of the species (yay for more arguments regarding the ethics of acquiring knowledge at the expense of animal welfare...).  I want to see what has been happening now, to see if any improvements have been made in the management of these animals, or what diseases have emerged or disappeared....ANYTHING!!

I'm going to have a lot of work cut out for me....on the brightside, I'm going to have a lot of ideas for research papers if I do want to get board certified in zoological medicine. 

http://www.aczm.org/content.aspx?page_id=1&club_id=366916&item_id=2609

=)

Dear WDCS

I have a few complaints regarding "Captive Cetaceans: a handbook for Campaigners".

First of all, please update your material.  The most recent version is from 1998 which in my opinion is grossly out of date considering that the current year is 2012, and presumably statistics have changed and more research has been conducted and published.  This is important because if you actually expect people to use this, then at least arm them with correct, scientifically up to date information; especially since the pdf document is particularly popular with the google search engine.  The popularity makes the average person vulnerable to old information that would not hold any water against "the industry".

Second, please make sure the edit your manual thoroughly.  In my honest attempt at taking the manual seriously I came across basic spelling errors indicative of a lack of professionalism.  In scientific literature, an article is extensively proofread to avoid making the research look like a petty backyard operation.  So if you want this manual to look like more than just liberal animal rights activism and have more credibility, then please, please, proofread.

-a scientifically literate person, that wants to save the whales too

Small Rant

Dear World,

I may not the best person out there.  I'm not the prettiest, or the smartest, or anything-est, but I'm still a person just trying to live my life in the best way I can.  I may not scale mountains on the weekends or have people begging to date me or get the best grade point average, but I'm doing my absolute best.

I've been given a lot of privileges in this life and I continue to strive to deserve them.

I just got accepted into veterinary school, on top of that, they are giving me a $1000 grant for my first year there.  Did I have a 4.0 gpa? No. Did I have spectacular GRE scores? No. Did I, on paper, look like the best candidate? Probably not.

But I have remained faithful to the goal of becoming a veterinarian for most of my life, and I have done nothing but prepare for it since my senior year of high school.  I've never been the smartest, or have gotten the best grades, but I knew what I wanted and tried my absolute best to achieve it.

Now am I worth it?  I don't know, but now is my time to prove it so even though I feel like some people may look on me with disdain Why did SHE get an offer? or jealousy, How did she get in, I'm so much better than her! I'm going to do my best.  I personally like to think that I'm brave enough to continue despite the overwhelming amount of self doubt that I have about my abilities.  But I suppose I should have faith that the admissions committee was right about me, and that I deserve my spot in the class of 2016.

Veterinary School

Yep, I got in.  I really wanted to make sure I didn't forget to mark this momentous occasion with a blog post.  I don't have time to fully paint the picture of my udder happiness right now, but rest assured, I will soon.  It actually happened yesterday Friday the 13th.  My lucky day =)

New Years Resolutions!

Yep, here is another blogger blogging about her New Years Resolutions. I can feel my uniqueness just oozing out of my pores....anyway.

1. Show myself more self respect - the kind from the new movie Jane Eyre (LOVED IT). Despite wanting something deeply and badly but would have come at great cost to her sense of self, she abstained.  I want to respect myself like she respected herself.
2. Participate in a Triathlon - there is one locally, that I've been wanting to try for the last couple of years.  As soon as I get back to school I'm going to start training.  Its going to be epic, I promise.
3. Get more LIVE animal veterinary experience - Pathology has been the most training I've had in veterinary medicine.  Granted its been great and I've learned a lot, but I do really want to learn about live animals too.
4. Do an exciting Internship/volunteer opp./study experience - I would really love to do a marine mammal internship and so I'm hoping it would be something along those lines.
5. FINISH MY RESEARCH PROJECT - started last summer....sigh.  Still working on it.  Its a lot of data and a lot of medical terminology and interpretation for someone who is not a pathologist, but I'm doing my best.
6. Blog more - its therapeutic, enough said.

I can't think of anything else in particular for that.... but here is another list

Some fun things that I may or may not get too!

1. Finish the scarf I started to knit.  Thanks to my old roommate's prompting, I started knitting. Yup, knitting.
2. Do a trans-state motorcycle ride.  I'm hoping that when I graduate, I'll take my motorcycle and ride down the west coast.  It'll be a super long trip, but epic at the same time.
3. Join a cuban salsa dance team.  Yeah, would be FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Get a dog.  This would require a whole bunch of things to happen which makes it unlikely to happen this year, but who knows.

eh, thats all for now.  If I think of anything else, I'll just add on.